Life is so funny. Ha ha funny and ironic funny. I have always felt out of place. Out of step with everyone around me. Even family. And I really was going to try to go into this year with a more positive outlook but it started out with more of the same. I am so tired. Mentally and physically. My mind is always racing with thoughts and idea. I dream constantly and normally my dreams are my refuge but now they're even betraying me. They are getting so weird. I feel disconnected from what's going on around and I don't know how to fit it so I escape into books. To a place where everything always works out in the end.
I don't get people but at the same time I do in way. I really believe and try everyday to treat people the way I want to be treated. It's not a hard thing to do. It come quit naturally actually. But it amazes me the lengths people will go to to make others suffer and for no apparent reason. Maybe it's to make others as unhappy as they are. Maybe it's out of unconscious cycle repeating habit stemming from the way other twisted people have treated them. Maybe it's just because some people are plan old evil. It seems to me that it would take such effort be in a perpetual state hatefulness than to be decent, UNLESS it come naturally. It's a scary thought. That some people want to set the world on fire, not because they're sick in the head, or because they are in so much pain, or because someone else is pulling the strings, but for the sheer pleasure of watching it burn.
It baffles me how people of sound mind willingly heart themselves and the ones around with their action all the while appearing seemingly unaware of what they're doing. I hear people talk about their lives and the choices they make and I don't understand how they think. I cannot image want hurt someone how posses absolutely no threat to me or mine.
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