Girlfriend or Whore: What's the defining line?

Recently I had a conversation with someone over what a woman scorn is due. Specifically what a woman is entitled to when a long term relationship ends. I say it depends on what she put into the relationship, what was given up for the sake of the relationship and whether she benefited overall from having been in the relationship. Say women stays with a man without marriage for whatever reason for 15 years at the end of which she is asked to leave. During the course of the relationship the woman in question was happy and treated well. She was obviously contented with the fact that this man had no intention of marrying her or he would have done so long ago. This is evident from the fact that she choose to stay with him without the presence of a formal commitment. However, during this time the womans career was elevated due directly to her association with this man and is now a sought after professionally in her own wright. She was given the chance to earn gainfull employment and experience she would not have gotten without her then boyfriends help. At the end of the relationship she was not only in a better finical position than when she met him but a better professional position as well.

Why then, instead of thanking him for all his help and support in her career, does she takes him the court? Services rendered? Back pay? Lose wages? Emtional distress? In any of these things were true she would have been the one to end things. Not him. Did she make decisions regarding her future based off broken promise from him? No. Did give up opportunities that would have enriched her career to elevate his? No. Was she forced or tricked into staying in the relationship under false pretenses? No. So what the hell is her problem? I'll tell you her problem. She invested her heart and it got broken. Sad yes. Grounds to sue. No. Instead of merely catering this woman for 15 years he gave her the means to support herself both now and in the future. He taught her how to fish and not just how to order one. Where's the fucking gratitude? No relationship is promised to last forever. It's an investment we all make without any guaranty of a return. But will do anyway because we believe it's worth the risk. Sometimes it is and sometimes it isn't. So you cry and yell and sulk. You don't sue! When you choose to go down this vengeful road you go from being a hurt ex-girlfriend to a jilted dismissed whore who a man is willing to pay just to get rid of. Like the old saying goes: You don't pay a whore to fuck you, you pay her to leave.

Now if that man is who he is and has what he has because of you, damn right you are entitled to your share. If he made promises to you that shaped what path your life took to HIS benefit, damn right he needs to pay. But lady's if YOU are in better shape on your own walking away than you were walking in, take the gain and leave with your head held high and your dignity in tack.

Random Thoughts

I don't know were to start. I have gone through a lot of changes lately. Professionally and personally. So much so that it's beginning to effect me physically. This must stop. Shit is always going to happen. I know this. I also know that I hate change. Well maybe not change in and of itself. I hate to deviate from a well thought through plan due to outside forces beyond my control. So I guess my real issue is not being able to control everything in my own little world which makes being me damn near impossible. Aww! I just want something, anything to go the way I plan for it to. I'm not that hard to please. Ok. That's a lie. But no one is harder on me about my failures than I am on myself. And now I'm rambling. I justed needed to vent for a second. This blog is more of a sounding board than anything else. Still glad to have it. Sometimes you just need to let it out.
I've been thinking about putting some kind of structure to my random thoughts and committing them to print. There may even be something in here that would be of interest to someone besides me. There's a story that keeps bouncing around in my head. It's been doing so for a while. Like it's waiting to get out. I don't know. What da you think?

I had an idea recently about a possible venture opportunity. I think it just might work but I don't want to jinks it by saying to much just yet. I will however report that I am feeling much better since my last post which was to say at the very least a bit maudlin, but that's where my head was at the time. I'll try from now on to not get so lost in my own head. Life's way to short to spend it wallowing in a pool of self pity. I am going to focus on the good and deal with the bad when I have to and Only when I have to, even if it fucking kills me.

On a lighter note, I sent a suggestion to the author of one my book favorites I have listed. I hope it helps. I realy love their work and am anxiously awaiting their next book, which I realy hope will be a new unstallment in what will hopefully turn into a long, riveting series. Fingers crossed.

A New Year ?

Life is so funny. Ha ha funny and ironic funny. I have always felt out of place. Out of step with everyone around me. Even family. And I really was going to try to go into this year with a more positive outlook but it started out with more of the same. I am so tired. Mentally and physically. My mind is always racing with thoughts and idea. I dream constantly and normally my dreams are my refuge but now they're even betraying me. They are getting so weird. I feel disconnected from what's going on around and I don't know how to fit it so I escape into books. To a place where everything always works out in the end.

I don't get people but at the same time I do in way. I really believe and try everyday to treat people the way I want to be treated. It's not a hard thing to do. It come quit naturally actually. But it amazes me the lengths people will go to to make others suffer and for no apparent reason. Maybe it's to make others as unhappy as they are. Maybe it's out of unconscious cycle repeating habit stemming from the way other twisted people have treated them. Maybe it's just because some people are plan old evil. It seems to me that it would take such effort be in a perpetual state hatefulness than to be decent, UNLESS it come naturally. It's a scary thought. That some people want to set the world on fire, not because they're sick in the head, or because they are in so much pain, or because someone else is pulling the strings, but for the sheer pleasure of watching it burn.

It baffles me how people of sound mind willingly heart themselves and the ones around with their action all the while appearing seemingly unaware of what they're doing. I hear people talk about their lives and the choices they make and I don't understand how they think. I cannot image want hurt someone how posses absolutely no threat to me or mine.

The Eye of the Storm

It amazes me how things work out. It's like a song I love called He Did It For My Good. It takes about how the devil sets things in motion to cause you pain but how turns them into things that bring you joy. That's how I feel right now. There are people in my life that seem to be doing every thing to make my life as difficult as possible, whether they are unconscious of the fact the devil is using them or willing participates in his plan to fuck me over, I don't know and frankly I don't care, the end results still the same. However, recently I have gained focus and a sense of calm I have been severely lacking. The period of undeserved professional exile has energized and given me prospective of what I want and what's important to me, two things I disparately needed. I know that it sounds like I've discovered a new enlightened path or changed religions but really all I've done it get in touch with someone I had lost contact with for a long while: Me. The days of being a spectator of my own life are over. It's time to make things happen, not wait for them.

It Has Begun

I took a small step toward me new goal last night and had a lot of fun in the process. Working with women should be a positive enriching experience although my past interactions have proved to the contrary I am no the less hopeful for the future. I pray that power doesn't turn me into a backstabbing, two-face, lying, hateful, self hating insecure raging bitch like ones I have the the misfortune of working with in the past.

Things Will Get Better

I am starting to feel optimistic for the first time in a long time about my future. I think I have a great and achievable plan. Might take a while to see in come to fruition but it is in the works and I have to say that I am so excited. I my finally get to do work that I am proud of and that I'm good at while at the same time helping those who need it and I have to say that the prospect of accomplishing that feels fucking assume. It's going to be a lot of work but the thought of it makes me smile and I am loving it.